My mother died from breast cancer, and my sister was diagnosed 6 months ago, my grandmother had it also. I had 2 lumps removed from the right side about 8-9 years ago. They were both benign. Can I hope to get lucky again? The report on the lumps did show that I was a high risk for breast cancer, and with my family history, go figure!

I was really nervous and anxious about the biopsy. My sister said hers really hurt bad. I remember her complaining afterwards and then she, of course, reminded me again Monday when I called to tell her I had to have one too. I was so very happy with the DR that did mine. He was fantastic. I’ve had two other people that could stick me with a needle and hardly even know it. He makes the third! I barely felt any discomfort with the shot for numbing, and you know that is a very sensitive area, lots of nerve endings!!!

The whole procedure was very little discomfort, and only a prick or two of actual pain. Now if we can just get that good of results back, I’ll be set! So, if you wouldn’t mind holding me in your thoughts and prayers for the next several days, I would surely appreciate it. I’m pretty scared with my family history, but not all lumps are cancer, right?

Thanks for reading and giving me a place to come to. As I sit here in the dark (finally got out of bed a while ago) I don’t even feel alone. I know that God is watching over me, and I’ll have lots of friends to talk to over the next few days.

Hugs! Sherry

Cindy, yes, I’ve definitely had more than my share of health issues, DH and I both have these past few years. I’m so blessed to have such a wonderful man that takes such good care of me. I’m just able to start helping around the house a bit, and now this! Geesh can’t win for losing some days! hahahaha

As for my positive attitude, I always like to hope I portray a good one, no matter what I am going thru. If the Lord can only help me keep that good attitude, I’ll endure whatever he sends my way, knowing that everything is for a purpose and is a part of a bigger picture, and that He will provide for me no matter what, I can survive.

I went thru an experience a few years ago, some of you may have seen the ugly pics, and for that one, all I prayed was that he keep it from my face, and let me see someone benefit from my experience. Everyday my husband and I kept a positive attitude (course, some of that was easy with good drugs in my veins!) but much was my own. And at the end of the hospital stay, one nurse, that had come in everyday with a problem attitude about something, came to us and said how much she admired us, and that it had opened her to the possibilities of looking more to the Lord for support and guidance. Now THAT is an answer to prayer! Oh, and He didn’t let any of the problem touch my face either

I am normally by nature a worrier, but being able to talk to so many of you and focus on conversations and other possibilities, has been very good, and I’m amazingly calm about this (for me that is You’ve all been very good for my spirits and my attitude. I can’t believe how well I’m doing. You don’t know what a naysayer and pessimist I can be in times like this! I always see the glass as half empty.

My answer is always, that if I expect the worst, then I’ll be able to jump for joy, when I get a better answer. But, if I plan for the middle or better, then get less than positive, I’ll be more disappointed. Hubby never thinks that’s a good answer. My first daughter-in-law is exactly the same as me! DS always laughs when she and I have the same opinions about things, and this type of attitude is one of them. I was just talking to him on the phone last night, and we were both telling him that very thing at the same time. He said if we talked any more simultaneously it would be perfect stereo! hahahahaha

Les, the results are supposed to be on the 3rd business day, but they said since my test was after 1:30, it would likely be four, making it Friday, but possibly not until Monday. So, hopefully by Monday afternoon, I’ll be able to post the results.

Thanks again, everybody for being here and thinking of me!

Oh, and one more thing! I can’t believe I didn’t think to ask for this at the same time!!! My daughter just had a cervical biopsy today!!! Man, it just doesn’t quit around here sometimes!!! She is the mother of this beautiful, bright-eyed darling in my siggy line. While my sons are my rocks, two of my greatest friends, my daughter is the joy of my life and that of all three of the men in our family. She is more special than normal to us. And I am ashamed to have put my own fears for myself ahead of hers! Wow, I can’t believe I let that out of my mind for so many hours!

Please keep my daughter in your prayers, even before myself. I know she would love to have another child, but if this does not have a good return, it could be her only one.

I did find the closest Gilda’s Club is only 2 hours away in Grand Rapids, nearly straight north of me. And good highways to there, so if I need it, it won’t be too bad to go there.

Les, that’s a good thought from your wife about the more false positives, but it absolutely is a lump, I was able to feel it, once they showed me where it was. I have a lot of fibrous tissue in my breasts so I’ve never been able to be sure if I was feeling lumps or just fibroids, which is what they removed from the other side. But this one is obvious now that I know where it is.

I appreciate everybody’s notes and posts. It just makes you feel good to come back and see more people have stopped by. I’m glad I posted. You are all so very good. I’m actually less afraid than I was before I got my mammogram. I guess the total not knowing was scaring me worse than it is now. I’d tried to get ahold of someone from the Cancer society, as I’m over 50 and they say that they will get you a mammogram when you don’t have any money,but no one ever called me back. I left several msgs, and then finally just gave up. But now with this state insurance I was able to just have the DR send me for it and it’s covered! Insurance is such a nice thing to have

As well as being on the phone half the day and evening, and running a couple errands, I also have my precious granddaughter for the night. I’ve had phone calls and company, my kids, in and out, and am finally trying to eat some supper, but it isn’t setting well.

I’m pretty much over the shock and distress by now, but I just took my nerve pills and a sleeping pill. Grandpa’s going to babysit the first shift! He had a nap this afternoon, I didn’t hahahaha

I’m going to finish this up, so that others that are wondering can know also. I promise I will talk to you again tomorrow. Maybe even later tonight, the sleeping pills usually only last 5 hours

“I always try to find the positive side of things, so I will attempt to be funny.”

A Positive twist on Chemo
- You save money and time on haircuts.
- No one lies to say “Gee, your hair looks nice today.”
- Bald is beautiful!
- You get to wear wacky bandannas on your head.
- People wait on you.
- You get to tell stories with a high “Wow” factor. Like when the nurse gives you chemo she has to wear a full body suit, complete with helmet, like in those virus movies.
- You can catch up on your sleep. (Some chemo makes you real sleepy.)
- The drugs for the side effects they have today are a lot better than 10 years ago.
- Your spouse gets to do all the housework and cooking and take care of the kids.
- You can wear a clown nose to the hospital, and the people will just think “Oh, she’s just destressing.”
- The hospital serves cookies for certain types of chemo.

Thanks for the light side of things, Chuck! We always need to laugh a little more!

To add to your lines:

My brother just bought my sister a Harley-Davidson bandana. She says it the softest one she owns, and cost him $20! I hope he gets me one with butterflies! I love bikes, but I’ll let the two of them sport the Harley wear hahaha

My husband has been doing all the housework, laundry, & cooking already for over a year now, and the kids are grown, I’ll be danged if either one of us is taking care of them!

My Dad always went with my Mom for her Chemo, because they had great supplies of herbal tea. He now drinks it all the time, and rarely drinks coffee. He never drank tea before. He still goes over to the Cancer Center when anyone is in the hospital for anything, and gets himself a cup of tea. They will remember him if I get to get treatments here in town, I’m sure!

I’m definitely used to the “drugs for the side effects of the drugs” thing. I’ve been on Prednisone for 5 years. You talk about a drug with side effects. I guess maybe it was preparation? hahaha

I do agree that bald is beautiful, but I always referred to men when I said that before!

Thanks to all the gals that commented on the procedure for my daughter. I’ll let her know what everyone has had to say. I don’t know if she was already familiar with it or not. She may have been, as she is a nurse,but she’s pretty young, and works in a nursing home, so may not have had any contact with the procedure or information other than what the DR gave her, and she has read on it. It sure makes me feel better

Again, thanks to all of you that have posted, and to the many others that may have read and just thought it wouldn’t matter if one more posted. It is such a blessing to see so many people take the time to leave me a word of encouragement. It really does matter, and I have read every one! And believe me, it will be one of the very important things I read when I do get discouraged and depressed, as I’m sure I will occasionally.

I am managing to keep my head up, and to not worry too much, but not having more information, it is still a little scary. They are going to have to send me to the next town over, as we got word yesterday that my town hospital & DRs are not going to be into the system until at least June 1, and we don’t want to wait that long. So, we have to wait until we pick a DR then get an appt, then schedule some more tests to see what exactly we are dealing with and how much and everything. So, that in itself is a little bit frustrating for me, and doesn’t help,but I’m dealing with it pretty good.

The first couple days were the hardest, but I’m settling into the idea (as much as one can and managing to HOPE that I won’t automatically have it as bad and as rough as my sister and mother did. I do also face the fact that I have been prepared for this, by my experiences with them, so it’s not as bad for me as it is for some women who have absolutely no clue what to expect. Not that knowing makes it all that much better, but at least it won’t be unknowns for me

As I said in my update in the first post, my daughter got her results back, and will be going in next month to have part of her cervix removed. She said they described it like using a cheese slicer and taking off a layer of her cervix. Doen’t sound like any darn fun to me!!! But, they said it definitely is non-cancerous, just very irregular cells. Hopefully, that will satify them and all will be better for her, and that it won’t hurt too much! Sounds nasty

I did enjoy my granddaughter very much the other night. She is such an an adorable good baby. I went right to bed after posting on here, and hubby stayed up with her, and fed her at 1:00. Burbed her, talked with her a little, and then layed her back down and she went back to sleep.

I got up just before 4:00 and she was just waking up. So I fed her again. Hubby was sleeping by then. He woke when he heard her, but saw I was up, so went back to sleep She was awake for a while after I fed and burbed her, then she slept for an hour or so, then woke up to coo and smile and laugh with me until she got hungry again. Mommy arrived just in the nick of time, and was glad Zylea was hungry, as her breasts were very full!

I told DD that so many of you were praying for her too, and she was really happy to hear that. It really makes one feel so much better to know so many people care. I’m continueing to think about all the positive reports from so many women, and until we know how bad this is, there’s nothing that worrying can do to make it better, so I’ll just deal with that when we find it out. Thanks so much for the reminders to take that attitude. I”ll continue to do my best

I talked to the Oncology co-ordinator from the hospital 3 or 4 times, the nurse from the Breast Center twice, the insurance company 4 times, the state administration program for the insurance 3 times.

And of course, for each phone call, you have a routine of push this and listen to that, and select this, and read this, and tell us that, then wait with music, then tell them more, then get transfered to someone else, then have them tell you something stupid, and make them go check with their supervisor, then get transfered again, then get a different number for the other place that you already talked to twice, just to hear the same thing the other place told you that you know is wrong and try to get them to figure out what you are trying to say!

Then decide to go jump in front of a car because THEN it would be a danged emergency and they HAVE to take care of you!!! By the time I figure out who I can go see the cancer will have eaten it’s way from my boob to my brain!

Well, I just had a little interruption, it was good, and I’m back now. One of our pastors just stopped in to visit a little and to pray with me. He was the youth pastor when our 2nd son, Eric, was a teenager and then he ended up helping with the youth thru his early young adult years and they became very good friends. So, he’s always been more than just one of the pastors to our family. It was good to visit with him. And, as you can tell, emotionally soothing

I guess I’ll just leave the insurance mess up to the woman that’s so confident over at the hospital. She’s just sure that the DRs there are all covered because they all take medicare, even tho that has no bearing on their participation in the state program. The confusion comes in the fact that one of the things the state has done to promote this to the health care providers is to tell them that the payments will be at medicare rates, which has this woman convinced that because the DRs there at the hopital participate in the medicare program with Anthem, they are covered in the Anthem state program. Doesn’t happen to be true, according to both the state and Anthem who I talked to on many levels today, but I guess the hoptital can eat the bills if she’s dead wrong, right?

It looks at this point, like this coming Wednesday, I will be meeting with the oncologist, the surgeon, and the radiologist, along with the oncology health coordinator to decide what need to be done. It’s the first step and hopefully I’ll know something when I get done there, even if it’s just what the next test will be! hahahaha

So, for now, I’m going to put this issue on the back burner, and leave it alone, since there’s nothing more that can be done until then. I’m just gonna do my best to carry on as if everything is fine and let it be. Nothing productive can come from doing anything else, so we will just deal with it next week! I’m gonna go enter some more books into my database! Brought home half a truckload last week, and only have them half sorted out, and only one box entered! Lots of work to keep me occupied, plus I have a cookbook to finish! Good thing I have work to do

Hugs to all of you, and thanks sooo very much for being here all of you! There are so many of you that have written here and sent PMs that I just feel so very cared for and very blessed to have so many friends! Thanks again for just being yourselves

I will probably have reconstructive surgery done in the future, but since I will have to have at least 4 chemo treatments (more if they find lymph node activity) the implants tend to cause problems sometimes, so I agreed not to have it right now.

They gave me two choices (well actually 3, but I didn’t count a single mastectomy as an option at all). I could have a lumpectomy, which would still leave me with all the fibrous tissues in my breasts, as well as all the risks of having cancer again. Or, I could have a mastectomy, single or double. While it doesn’t 100% eliminate the possiblilty, since they cannot be 100% certain that they’ve gotten every single cell of breast tissue, it significantly reduces any risks that I currently have. So, since I don’t have very large, gorgeous breasts anyway (kinda tiny, and droopy at my age and always kinda painful due to the fibrous tissue, I had no real problem electing for the double mastectomy.

I really kind of had my mind made up before I went in to the consultation that if it was an option, I would probably take it, and had discussed it with Marcus to see how he felt. So, it wasn’t really a difficult decision when we got to that point. When we weigh in the fact that the lumpectomies in ‘99 showed my cells run a high risk of having cancer, then add my mother & sister having it, and then actually getting it myself, I’m in a pretty high risk category, and would have to constantly worry about having it again. This way, I avoid radiation, only have to have chemo (not fun, but only half the problems when you eliminate radiation), and I avoid the major risks of the future. So, I’m very comfortable with this decision.

My oldest son, Todd, will fly in on Wednesday after surgery to help take care of me, and stay for a week, so I will be in good hands between him and the two that are here, plus Marcus. I’m sure I’ll get properly spoiled

Phsycologically, I’m really doing well with this. I’ve managed to stay upbeat, and faithful that God is taking care of all of it, and will provide all the care and medical attention that I need, so there is nothing for me to be concerned with. I can honestly say, I’m not afraid, and that I have managed for the first time in my life to totally put my concerns and worries in God’s hands and let him take care of me! It truly is a wonderful feeling to not worry about what is going to happen. I don’t feel like there’s a big dramatic thing about to happen in my life, I’m just going for a little surgery.

Now, afterwards, that might be a different story! hahahaha I won’t tell you I’m not afraid of recovery! That scares me terribly! I’m a big baby anyway, and don’t tolerate pain well. And since I’m also genetically predisposed to have lymphodema problems with this (both mom & sister had real problems with it) That will be a problem for me to deal with. It is painful, and very inconvenient to say the least. But, I reckon, if I can survive it, by golly I’ll be set for life! I’ll be able to handle anything with God’s help!

He has taken good care of us, providing things just when they are needed and making sure that even tho we have bumpy paths to walk, we always have a good hand rail when the bumps get a little too rough! I believe with the love and prayers, warm wishes and good thoughts, from all of our friends, I will manage just fine!

I promis that myself, or one of my family will post Monday evening or Tuesday to let you know how surgery went and how I’m doing. And I’ll be back as soon as I’m able God Bless each of you as you hold me in your thoughts and prayers, especially Monday and Tuesday as I undergo the surgery and begin my recovery.

Please pray for strength for myself and my family, courage and ease of pain for me. Guidance for the DRs and nurses. And good meds Gotta throw that in

Blessings to you all. Sherry